Author Archives: crackhardy

The Umpteen Ways to Satisfy Our Deep Need to Belong

The entire book is below. The chapter headings are to the side.

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Preface.

It took me years to figure out what makes a person happy and write it all down. Then I thought I’d better provide examples. After all, it’s no use explaining the nature of happiness and leaving it at that. That would be like listing the ingredients … Continue reading

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How I came to write this book.

It’s the 1960s in Ashwood, an outer suburb of Melbourne. Weatherboard house on a dirt road. Nearby are paddocks agisting horses, and with ponds full of tadpoles. My sisters and I had good, responsible, loving parents, although they argued ferociously, … Continue reading

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Part 1. The Deep Need to Belong.

Pleasure is one type of happiness. We can eat a chocolate and be happy for a few seconds, after winning a contest we can be happy for days, and newly-weds can be happy for months. Then we return to our … Continue reading

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More about the deep need to belong.

In the past, the more we contributed to the tribe and felt valued for our contribution, the more likely we were to stay in the tribe and live long enough to pass on our genes. Heaven help the poor person … Continue reading

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Part 2. The need to feel valued by the tribe.

‘Supposedly, the words we enjoy hearing most are, “I love you”. Not true. The words we most want to hear are, “Well done!”’ Peter the Heckler. Imagine doing something wonderful, like inventing something special, or saving a person’s life, or … Continue reading

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How can we help someone feel valued?

I was standing in a Los Angeles bus when a man next to me began talking to me earnestly about the Kennedy assassination, and lots of other things, all jumbled up. I figured I might as well listen. I failed … Continue reading

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